GPS systems formed 10 billionth of a second after the premiere of The Big Bang—a massively popular porno flick playing at neutrino shaking volume in Qualstentor 92B, one of an infinite number of parallel universes. God, who sprung into being 4 nanoseconds later, in violation of all laws of physics, which were unknown at the time, created Earth 9 billion years later to match the specs of the GPS systems.

5 billion years or so passed by and sadly some slime evolved into human beings, even though the slime was doing rather well. Humans, no longer satisfied to congregate on the surface of stagnant water, created god and Kim Possible in their own image, followed by GPS systems.

God got really pissy claiming that it was he, or she, or it, god has gender issues, that first created GPS, which was of course a lie, and told the humans to get lost as he, or she, or it, altered the speed of light and the angular velocity of Earth, so that all GPS systems would direct everyone to Cleveland. The Chairwoman of the Cleveland Chamber of Commerce, who was an atheist and a big Kim Possible fan, could hardly believe it!
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Atheist 2.0
Raised by Atheists 1.0
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Time exists to keep everything from happening at once.
—Frank Zappa
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"I found a flaw in the model that I perceived is the critical functioning structure that defines how the world works."
—Alan Greenspan