Most of the world's problems were solved by Lasp Media. Of course, we won't tell you how to fix these problems because we are selfish and arrogant and like to laugh at the misfortunes of others. Here's one for you now: Snape kills Dumbledore in The Half Blood Prince. Feeling mad? I bet your face is so red that you wish you could come right over to us and tell us where you think we can stick our Snape kills Dumbledore. Well you can't because we are in underground Antarctica and our location is top secret. Sucks to be you.

To pass the time we take the clock off the wall and hand it around to each other in a circle. It's boring so we try to avoid passing time as much as we can. I think it has been 7 months since our last clock-circle, as we call them. On the floor above the Space Quest deciphering is our time travel department. There are hundreds of time machines in all different forms. Our most recent is in a spoon. It reacts to the temperature of the noodles you are eating to show how far you want to travel. In fact, one of our careless technicians accidently went back in time before the start of the universe when he got distracted and his noodles cooled down too much. It was his fault the big bang occurred (they were very bad noodles, he says) and thus we created the Earth. One of our main goals is to fix that mistake.

Above that floor is management and recreation (and that room where we pass the time as mentioned before) and above that is management. We'll skip the next few floors, they aren't anything fancy and that brings us to the top. The elite members of Lasp Media's dormitories are there and the room of our faithful leader, Sahm Crisp. He lives on the top floor because it seems dominating. The rest of us fear him and respect him up there. He is there to inspire us, but mostly because the internet connection is best there. He needs fast internet so he can upload videos to YouTube. I am currently in his room because he is on vacation and he wanted me to write this introductory paragraph for Lasp Media. It's pretty fun! I'm spinning on his expensive cushy chair right now and there is a great view up here. I mean, we are still underground and it is just ice but the ice sure is sweet.

Sahm Crisp is also the leader and only member of Lasp Media's cartooning squadron. He has been making the cartoons under the alias Sahm Crisp (which, coincidently, is exactly the same as his real name) since 2003 and uploading them direct to the public for free. Some popular cartoons are comedy series "Liam and Sam", "Uzi Clan" and "Garageband" along with many short dramatic films such as "Dark Wind Blowing" and "Knock on Wood: Angel". Sahm has a bad habit of starting a series and only making one episode before he gets bored of it and decides to do something else.

Lasp Media's location is so top secret that not even anyone within the organisation knows where they are. Every time someone finds out, the whole company is brainwashed and we start things from scratch but because we are made up of only the smartest people on earth, we soon get back to where we were. Unfortunately, because we are so smart we usually find out where we are very soon, too, and brainwashing has become so frequent that is now just part of the weekly schedule (the weekly schedule will probably be changed next week, though, because we will have forgotten about it).

And that brings me to the end of this long and sidetracked description of what this YouTube channel is all about. Sahm wanted me to have 1000 words but I don't think he'll count them all. It is only 790 words as of the end of this sentence. I applaud your efforts if you have managed to read this all (I won't actually because I don't know if you have or not (I guess I could make some sort of test) so don't email me and tell me you didn't hear me applaud because I probably didn't). Now take the time to choose your favourite sign-out salutation through this questionnaire.

Question 1: What month is it in your hemisphere?
a) January
b) February
c) Autumn
d) All of the above?

Question 2: How do you describe your personality?
a) Bold
b) Cute
c) Curly
d) Sexy

Question 3: What species are you?
a) Human-sapien (or close enough)
b) Extra Terrestrial
c) Lawyer
d) Yes, please

Now tally up your scores and see your answer!

Mostly As: You are a simple 'Goodbye' man!

Mostly Bs: To you it will always be Christmas! Every day is a festive day. I hope you have a merry one! "Merry Christmas"

Mostly Cs: You have an optimistic hope you will one day see me again, so I'd better not kill your hopes. It's a "See you soon" for you.

Mostly Ds: You think it doesn't matter what I say to you as long as I leave. "Shame on you."