You know, I've always thought that it's possible to truly understand another person from one conversation. Maybe it's because I'm a good judge of character, or maybe it's just because I'm God. I'll let you make the choice, motherfuckers.

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On an related note (sorta), I hate meeting people over Youtube. It's such an indisposed way of getting to know others. The majority of Youtubers are in it for self-gain and repute, and that wouldn't be a problem if it didn't also mean most of them are two-faced fucking snakes with their hands out for your approval. On the other hand, there's the other group: the notorious aggregation proudly known as "trolls"; the lonely teenagers and jobless fathers who dedicate their lives to socially and psychologically isolating themselves from the sea of conformity. Because of this, it always feels like you're conversing with frauds: either they want something from you, or they want you to think something of them that clearly doesn't hold weight. Whatever happened to speaking your own fucking mind, free of the torturous reins that seek to spread political correctness and normality? All you ever see are fucking glamorized, phony celebrities smiling despite themselves in magazines and on your television. This sickening fantasy life is being translated to the internet, and is seen by the new wave of Hollywood-hopefuls that Youtube is fraught with. So, by all means, approach me if you'd like. All I'm trying to say is that I have no problem speaking my mind, and I hope you reserve the same right. Call it a promise.

☠ Things I dislike ☠

If you've dedicated your channel to "shocking" people, or creating the image that you're some sort of megalomaniac, crazy sumbitch who does heroine, advocates genocide, and takes 2 by 4's up your ass, I'm one of the people you're NOT going to shock. That tactic is played out on Youtube, and everyone who can read at a Twilight-grade level knows it's nothing but a cheap publicity stunt. You're about as original as a Michael Bay film.

Secondly, if you're into that hentai, Japanese animation shit, the door is over there. You can kung-fu kick your way out of it.

Also, there isn't much more on this utopia of a planet that angers me than those prisssy, little paranoid girls who think EVERYTHING you say or do is "creepy" or "disgusting". Shut the FUCK up, you fidgedty little vaginal blister: I said "HI" ... I DON'T want to have sex with you, and I DON'T want to kidnap your penis of a dog. Get a grip on yourselves ...

Lastly, if the teenage faggot singing sensation Justin Bieber appeals to you in any way, shape or form, I have the remedy. It's called a "moose" with an "n". If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's because you listen to Justin Bieber. If you STILL don't know what I'm talking about, I'm afraid nothing can help you.

Yes, my name is Pandora. I'd tell you how drunk my parents were when they named me, but I was drunk myself that night, so I don't remember.

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I was born on the highest peak of a mountain in the Himalayas, where I was raised by a family of mountain goats. I'm inclined to think that my obsession with hairy animals originated from there, but you can argue that point with me if you care.

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"I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful
I like birds, bees, I like people
I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful
like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in preschool!"

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If you've read this far, you officially have no life.

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List of some of the butthurt Youtubers who've blocked me:

ingridgott
SmoshConnor
wendenfernpne
SlipknotPlushie
theEmoSupportService
TessaBoparoy
RiceBunny12

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