@Anon371 You can pick up a form at your local tourism and visitors bureau. It's just that easy. Our premium package includes a bottle champagne along with a rear facing glass bottom seat which gives you a breathtaking view of the spraying in real time.

Glad you mentioned Kissinger. For $200 dollars more we can have Kissinger tie you up and beat you with a belt made from Salvador Allende's left thigh.

ConservativeHealth, where can I acquire one of these chemtrail rental forms? I would love nothing more than to be in the back seat of one of the planes with the good Dr. Henry Kissinger as we spray the disgusting free lunch borrowing yuppies into oblivion :)

@Anon371 Thanks for your request. Please fill out a chemtrail rental form. Write NYC in the location box and we'll send a team of pilots out to blanket the city with our special proprietary blend of mind numbing chemicals.

Can you please send a request to our owners to chemtrail the shit out of New York City ASAP?

Hilarious and excellent...reminiscent of the YesMen and the Onion. Thanks.

@VoiceOfModeration Great question! Our chemtrails are a proprietary blend of mind altering chemicals engineered specifically for you and yours. We can spray your area upon request. Call our hotline and we'll gladly send a pilot out right away.

Indeed. Our legal team will be in touch to finalize the details on the joint venture. Have your guys meet us later this evening at the Ritz Carlton for hookers and cocaine by the pool.

Thank you CHN for subscribing!! We deeply appreciate what your organization stands for and we applaud your forward-thinking, endless profit-generating innovations for the development and cultivation of multiple new
and untapped revenue streams in the burgeoning Conservative American sickcare industries. We're proud to call you our friend!

With an eye on harvesting unprecedented profits in the new 2011 year, we extend our heartfelt gratitude to CHN for extending your hand in partnership as we move toward the establishment of a global framework upon which new multinational alliances can formulate, closed-door deals can be made and corporate-profiteering and tax-loophole initiatives can thrive.

Not only can CHN's involvement will help partners identify vastly underexploited areas that could provide significant profit yields within already economically weakened sectors, but would also provide seasoned expertise and analysis of brand-based just-in-time marketing for population trending and for establishing standardized protocols for GMP (Good Manufacturing Practices), which are vitally instrumental to the ongoing propagation of the American Conservative's demand for mass-produced, GMO, artificially-flavored, chemically-laced and environmentally hazardous consumable goods and foodstuffs.

Furthermore, CHN's strategic-partnership would simply ensure that the interplay between each of our corporate alliance partners will help us maintain the status-quo en-masse, and generate tens of billions in daily profits directly from the exact key-verticals that industry-insider's know and love.  In fact, the latest population trending shows a significant, if not meteoric-rise in spending by the mass-junkfood consuming American Conservative and a subsequent 'flooding of the market' for Federal dollar-draining chronic illness, which are always a welcome boon for hopeful Wall Street investors.

With that, we cordially invite CHN to join us in our great collaborative mission to share your strengths, weaknesses, and core-competencies as we strive toward our goals of global brand awareness and mass-consumption of those brands and a significantly wider scale. There's no stopping us now!