A visual monologue written, filmed, edited and lived by me
Song: "Alive" (
https://soundcloud.com/anth......) - Featuring piano from Ariana Grande and Nathan Skyes "Almost is Never Enough"
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Alive
Did you feel that?
365 days in one minute.
You didn't get to admire every color, hear each laugh or savor every moment.
I tried my hardest to because that's life:
Today endlessly seaming into tomorrow,
creating a fluorescent blur that zooms past us all too quickly.
And I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with being in the process of painting that blur until I die.
I know what colors I want to use, and I know that I am the only one holding the brush.
I know that, eventually, framed canvases of my blur will live inside museums. Everyone who caught a small glimpse of my palette during its creation will finally be able to admire its entirety.
My painting will be another piece of our universes puzzle.
But I am not there yet.
I'm only on cycle 18 of-
well, who the fuck knows.
That being said… here it is:
The story of how I lost my virginity.
Just kidding, I'm not there yet either.
But actually,
the numbers behind this all don't mean a thing to me.
Money, age, likes, weight, even time.
The cycle itself is what serves me constant thrill.
Dreaming and being.
Passion and pain.
Hope and fear.
Sleeping and breathing.
Loss and gain.
Sunshine and rain.
Over and over.
But then there's that middle area too: moments when things are going deliciously smooth. Strawberry milkshake smooth. Pink silk dress smooth. Moments when I'm so caught up in being alive, desires to freeze the now and analyze are silenced by my heart beat. Everything makes sense. Even if it's just for a few minutes.
Life is really one emotional and complicated blur.
I don't know much but I know I love this cycle.
I know you do too.
You're still here.
You know what a lifetime has to offer, and you dream of what can be experienced.
You want to try everything.
You want to challenge who you think you are, proudly looking back at where you have been and innocently looking towards where you are going, eyes beaming with excitement.
You might not even have a destination, but what matters is the picture that is being painted in front of you right now.
If that picture were to be framed tomorrow for the whole world to see, would you be proud of all it radiates?
Yes?
No?
Not sure?
Regardless, we have nothing but time to change that.
Every second of today is ours to mold.
Think of what you wish to craft.
Fantasize about it.
Wake up.
Break the cycle.
Express.
Make it colorful
and expand.
Begin to appreciate the parts of you considered flawed and use them as motivation.
Make mistakes amongst a generation that has its eye for perfection through an Instagram lens.
I will dance even if the floors creak.
I will shine even after the sun sets.
I will commit to being unapologetically me.
365 days can feel like one minute.
I might not be able to admire every color, hear each laugh, or savor every moment.
But trying to puts a meaning behind all of this that is mine.
I am me.
I am love.
I am alive.
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http://lohanthony.tumblr.com/Vine:
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